“Lia-hf is liahk a box of chock-lats,” a guy I went to high school with used to say, doing an excruciatingly painfully annoying impression from the movie, Forrest Gump.
He’d draw it out, mighty proud of himself, and seem to get worse and worse each go round.
“You nev-ah know what ya gon-na gee-ht.” He’d smile and make sure he made lingering eye contact with each ‘audience’ member. He may have even bowed, or tipped the feathered fedora I’m sure he wore.
“Well, you know you’re at least getting chocolate!” I wanted to scream, “and things traditionally associated with chocolate, like nuts and caramel or fucking nougat!”
I considered myself “cool;” and had learned easy annoyance was an integral aspect of that persona.
Older (wiser?) me has become accustomed to the fact that life will always toss things in your path. You may have experienced a thing or two yourself. Things that can be classified in all sorts of ways, including “good” and “bad.” And often, you get both at the same time.
Here’s what’s new over here.
We’ll start with a fabulous development, a big surprise that I also kind of knew was coming…
Chad proposed!
Saying yes was a no-brainer. When I opened my heart to Chad, he entered with so much light that I couldn’t help but see the extent of the self-abandonment and neglect I’d endured, and he’s continued to shine that light, unflinching.
The amount of growth, healing, adventure, and fun we’ve had since is off the charts. There’s never been a doubt in my mind that he’s someone I’d be honored to spend the rest of my life with.
Honestly, it’s always been yes. His presence, touch, all of it, is nothing I’ve ever experienced with anyone, ever.
Now onto the less-than-ideal aspect of what’s also landed in front of me. It’s expensive, and involved.
Please. If anything should happen to me, somebody see to it that my tombstone reads, “she put her money where her mouth is.” This time, the painfully pricy dental work I’m undergoing is to replace pricy painful work I already had done, by someone less skilled (I’m told), years ago.
A week from today I’m going back so they can “smash” the dental implant currently lodged securely in my skull, and begin the long process of re-grafting with cadaver bone and getting the whole thing redone.
I can’t help but picture a cookie. You know when you’re trying to break off a small piece, and end up with a huge chunk instead?…
My dentist assured me; it’s going to be rough.
“I’ll be knocked out under some sort of anesthetic though, right?” I asked. “No, I need you conscious,” was his response, “I’m going to need you to help.”
(Help? Help!)
I’m not sure if he’s joking or not, and either way, *can’t wait.
For years I put off the inevitable. I put off healing. When I knew there was a problem, I often didn’t face it.
I could have stayed that way, stagnant and frozen, but thankfully didn’t.
The growing pains I experienced with Chad weren’t always smooth or easy, but they were worth it, and made us stronger. I became way more self-aware as a result.
I know the dental process is going to be a lot, there’s no doubt about it. But it feels good again to have a plan. To not be stuck somewhere spinning wheels, ignoring problems and kicking healing further down the road.
Life is many things, including chocolate. And when you do get some, remember: Brush your teeth.
*Pray for me…
TRAVEL & ADVENTURE 