Retail Therapy is a Bunch of Crap

For decades, I made a colossal mistake. Ok… let’s be real, I made quite a few.

But this one was up a top-ten biggie: I undervalued the things that have no monetary value but have a huge impact on how I feel, and overvalued the inconsequential things that not only cost me money, they got me into debt.

You know, things like trendy clothes, bags, a pair of new shoes or a “hot new” shade of lipstick.

For example, let’s say I was feeling bored, invisible, or numb. I could have gone for a walk. Investigated the feeling, problem solved and really checked in with myself.

Instead?

Let’s say it, all together now, “Kat went to Target.”

I went to Target.

I wasn’t fully aware of it at the time, but as I wound my way through the racks of clothes, folded sweaters and neat stacks of jeans ripped at the knee, I was looking for a way to be seen; a way to feel better.

Searching for the items that would elevate me into worthiness. Something exciting, because I felt so lost and uninspired. I looked for it in sweaters, bags, and jeans upon jeans. Nail polish, lipstick, and expensive creams that promise you better skin – they lie.

Because I spent hard earned money on these things, I somehow felt that this investment would pay off. I’d feel better, right?

It doesn’t, I didn’t. But man was I tenacious. I kept going back.

And then slowly, quietly, and very anticlimactically, I had an epiphany: the things that actually make me feel better are simple, and free.

Things like:

Walking and other forms of exercise.

Spending time in nature.

Learning what I actually like and need.

Learning to see and appreciate myself, instead of outsourcing that to others.

Coming back to myself, connecting with my breath – it sounds simple but takes a lot of redirection – has done what 10 different shades of red lipstick, designer leggings and $100 dollar face creams can’t.

It’s brought me back.

This year? I’m focusing on being content with what I have.

It doesn’t mean I’m not pushing myself to grow; to continue to “level-up” as they say, especially when it comes to writing.

But honestly, I already have everything I need. I have the best, most loving, supportive, present partner. And he’s handsome, too. I have my little furry babies; my heart swells to accommodate all the love I feel for them.

I have clothes, food, notebooks and pens. I have adventure, travel, an incredible opportunity to live life on my terms. Honestly, I have everything I could ever hope for; I see it, appreciate it, and am happier than I’ve ever been… and have spent next to nothing to get here.

Throughout all this, it’s become clear: don’t devalue the things that actually make you feel better, just because they’re free.